In a Sea of Dicks

Just as I’m sitting here, trying to grasp what just happened and this insanely sexy Brazilian is leaving, I wonder what makes the difference between alright sex and amazing sex?

Optics certainly play a big part. A good body feels amazing, but what you really fuck is a handsome face. I’d rather have sex with someone cute with a more average body than a pornstar with a fuckface.

Even more important is the kissing. Some guys are terrible at it (seriously, wtf?), many are alright, some are good and very few are let-me-forget-the-world amazing. Amazing kissing requires feeling into the partner, find a common rhythm, lead and follow, dance with the tongues. Kissing is a great indicator of how the sex is going to be. If that one doesn’t feel good, I’d rather call it off than trying to have sex.

Ultimately, it’s about energy and confidence. A guy that knows he’s sexy, that can enjoy himself, that knows how to give and take, and is not shy to be loud when he enjoys the play. There’s a fine line between confidence and over-confidence. What you don’t want is someone that believes he’s hotter than the world, and that he’s doing you a favour (or just hasn't found anyone better yet).

Dick size certainly plays a part... if it’s too small, being bottom just isn’t fun, but much more importantly is the strength. I take a normal-sized, really hard dick anytime over a massive one that doesn’t get super hard. Being fucked by one of these just feels like reverse shitting. Yes, you are being filled, but they're not really doing any of the damage we are seeking.

Similar, being a great bottom requires some trust that the other guy cares. If a guy can’t relax, it’s gonna be hard to fuck proper, it will hurt more, the angle sucks, and it’s overall a frustrating experience. And – as the bottom – it requires the ability to lean a bit into the pain. The best fucks are when I can’t fathom my life as this hod stud on top of me is rearranging my guts, there’s points where it hurts, but I know that he feels my reaction and just pushes me to the limit, not above. Mindless hammering into a hole isn’t great sex. If your man does that, he probably watched too much porn or never bottomed. The best tops are vers.

Mister today had a good size, slightly smaller than mine, but he more than compensated for this with being chill, being in the now, grabbing me hard, and understanding the dominance game. And when it came to pounding me, he’d give me these intense looks.

Nothing is more unsexy to me than if you try to push my head down to make me wanna suck you. That’s so cheap. Instead, lie on the bed, give me a lustful look and let me explore your body. Trust me, I’ll find your dick and hole, and I’ll suck and eat your ass until your eyes roll up and turn white.

Also... chill! Nobody needs 84 different sex positions. The basics are all you need. Chest on chest, lots of body contact, kissing and eye contact while pounding, or flip over and grab him hard while you are inside him. Doggy for some mirror porn, you don’t need anything else. At least I don’t. These are perfect, they make me feel really connected with my playmate and they are comfortable. A pillow under the butt does wonders for the angle.

We gays often take drugs to make sex better... yet if you think of it, does it really get better? Yes, it helps to cum harder, but the result often is that simply nobody is cuming, leaving both parties unsatisfied. Monkey-brain also has a hard time being in the now — it always wants more. More men. More drugs. More of everything! We end up half the time on our phone, trying to invite more guys, which in almost all cases doesn’t make things better and is just a giant waste of time.

Mister today was here for two hours. We didn’t even take a break, other than a quick glass of water. No phones, no Grindr, no midway-douching, no drugs, no smoking, nothing. If we needed a breather we just cuddled and hugged each other.

We didn’t just share sex, we shared intimacy.